It shows in your face4/15/2024 “The autonomic nervous system influences the heart, and this shows on your face, which has an impact on your social engagement. If others feel safe and calm, this often leads to you feeling safe and calm. This is referred to as co-regulation. When you have been co-regulating, you might have noticed that you have a softened tone to your voice or more relaxed facial expressions. You might even have noticed a slower heart rate. In this state, you might have felt more open, willing, and compassionate to yourself and others.”
Beyond Your Confines: The Workbook is available in paperback and ebook format. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & author #BeyondYourConfinesTheWorkbook #BeyondYourConfines #mentalhealth #ChrisWarrenDickins
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Join the launch team?4/8/2024 Want to be the first to read my NEW #BeyondYourConfines Workbook?
We have a FREE copy for you if you join our dream launch team. Simply follow these steps: 1.Email us at chris@chriswarrendickins.com with your name, email, and mailing address. 2.We will send you a free copy of the ebook version of the workbook. 3.Leave an honest review on Goodreads or Amazon. 4.Send us a screenshot of your review, and you will be entered into a free competition to receive a paperback copy of the workbook, signed by Chris Warren-Dickins (this is for US postal addresses only). Beyond Your Confines: The Workbook is available in paperback and ebook format. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author #BeyondYourConfinesTheWorkbook #BeyondYourConfines #mentalhealth #ChrisWarrenDickins No one wants to think that their child might become depressed, but it is better to have the tools ready, just in case, than be caught unaware. Here are three of my favorite -
ONE – KNOWING THEY ARE NOT ALONE Research shows that if someone has at least one supportive person in their life, the impact of depression is considerably reduced. Your support, reminding them that they are not alone, is crucial for your child. And when you offer that support, your choice of words is important. You want to acknowledge your child’s pain, showing them you are meeting them where they are, without any attempt to reduce its significance or dismiss their feelings. Handy phrases include: “I hear you, and I am here when you are ready for me.” “That sounds big and overwhelming, and we can look at it together when you want to.” “I see how hard this is for you. What do you need from me right now?” TWO – MINDFULNESS There is plenty of research to show that mindfulness can help with a wide range of mental health conditions. But sometimes mindfulness can appear complicated, or just for the adults. You’re your child learn about mindfulness by following the simple steps set out below: In his book Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat Zinn describes mindfulness as the practice of "non-doing" and "letting go." When you adopt a mindful approach, your job is to simply become aware of what is going on, without trying to change it, interpret it, or consider how it affects you… Step 1 – Notice one thing at a time. It could be the dripping tap or the swaying breeze, or even just the tempo of each breath. Step 2 – Really notice your internal and external states, including the colors and textures, and how that makes you feel. Step 3 – Any time you feel hijacked by an intense feeling or thought, redirect your attention to your breathing. Step 4 – Adopt mindfulness even in the most basic of activities, including doing your homework, tidying your room, playing with your friends, or going for a walk. THREE – THERE ARE BETTER DAYS Depression can feel overwhelming, especially when you feel that it is never going to end. So your job is to keep reminding your child that there will be better days. Reminding your child about the temporary nature of depression is crucial. I sometimes like the analogy of surfing a wave, and this can be helpful for depression or anxiety:
I hope you found this useful. I would love to hear your thoughts, whether that is via private message or comments below. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author of The Beast of Gloom (a children’s book about depression) #depression #childrensmentalhealth #TheBeastOfGloom #ChrisWarrenDickins No one wants to think that their child might become depressed, but it is better to have the tools ready, just in case, than be caught unaware.
Words matter. And some of the best words to use when someone is depressed are words of connection. Connection IS meeting the child where they are by acknowledging the pain they are experiencing, and reminding them that we are there to support them through it. Connection IS NOT denial, dismissal, or diminishing someone’s feelings. Here are some handy words of connection: “I hear you, and I am here when you are ready for me.” “That sounds big and overwhelming, and we can look at it together when you want to.” “I see how hard this is for you. What do you need from me right now?” I hope you found this useful. I would love to hear your thoughts, whether that is via private message or comments below. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author of The Beast of Gloom (a children’s book about depression) #depression #childrensmentalhealth #TheBeastOfGloom #ChrisWarrenDickins When it comes to depression, want to know the biggest tyrant of them all? The Tyranny of the Shoulds.
The greater the number of shoulds and musts, and the harder our kids hold onto them, the more likely they are to experience depression. Because life has a habit of failing to meet our expectations. Here are some examples of The Tyranny of the Shoulds: · I should perform perfectly at work, or at school. · My friends must not leave me out of their plans for the weekend. · Life should be fair. Help your child by trying these three things: 1. Replace “shoulds” with “I would like”s, 2. Help them to assess how important, on a scale of 0-10, is this “should”, and 3. Learn the benefit of mistakes and failed expectations in the process of developing resilience and emotional wellbeing. I hope you found this useful. I would love to hear your thoughts, whether that is via private message or comments below. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author of The Beast of Gloom (a children’s book about depression) #depression #childrensmentalhealth #TheBeastOfGloom #ChrisWarrenDickins There is a high correlation between rigid thinking and depression. Whether one causes the other is less important than an understanding of the importance of flexible thinking. Do hear your kids say “I can’t do that because I’m not that kind of person”? I know I do. They might view themselves as “not sporty” or “not a dancer” or “not sociable”, and these are all examples of rigid thinking. Labels can trap our children, and when someone feels trapped and they can’t see a way out, they can feel powerless, and this is a high risk factor for depression.
The long and short of it is: Don’t let your kids box themselves in with labels or restrictive self-statements. At a young age, they should be sampling everything life has to offer, so they can gradually realize their strengths and potential. Challenge rigid thinking at every moment, and you will be doing a great thing for your kids and their efforts to keep depression at bay. I hope you found this useful. I would love to hear your thoughts, whether that is via private message or comments below. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author of The Beast of Gloom (a children's book about depression) #depression #childrensmentalhealth #TheBeastOfGloom #ChrisWarrenDickins Depression can have a significant impact on a child’s ability to think clearly. Here are two examples of these cognitive distortions:
1. They over-estimate seriousness of challenges they face; and 2. They underestimate their ability to handle these challenges. As a parent or teacher, you can help your child by spotting when they might be suffering from these cognitive distortions. I have added three more examples below, and then I offer a few quick tips to support them through this: 1. Catastrophizing - This is when someone assumes thing will turn out worse than they are likely to be. Examples include: · A child's parents are arguing and the child assumes they will get a divorce. · A child gets an answer wrong in a test and they assume they are completely incompetent. 2. Personalization - This is when your child overemphasizes their role in a situation that is creating them distress. Examples include: · There is an argument between friends and the child assumes it is all their fault. · The teacher is angry at the class and the child thinks the anger is directed at them. 3. All-or-Nothing Thinking is when someone can't see a middle ground, and so they adopt assumptions and beliefs such as · I can never make a mistake; or · If I don't get perfect grades, school is a waste of my time. To help children with these cognitive distortions, try and reality-test their assumptions. How likely is it that what they fear will happen will actually occur? If the event might occur, make a list of all their strengths and resources they can use in that event. You can be one of their resources, to offer constant support. Finally, remind them that often things feel worse and less manageable when we are feeling depressed, and when the depression passes, things might seem a lot less unmanageable. I hope you found this useful. I would love to hear your thoughts, whether that is via private message or comments below. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author of The Beast of Gloom #depression #childrensmentalhealth #TheBeastOfGloom #ChrisWarrenDickins The Beast of Gloom is a tricky fella!3/20/2024 Unlike other challenges to your mental health, the Beast of Gloom (the name I chose for depression in my new children's book) is particularly tricky. When it takes hold, it can leave you in a double bind:
· You over-estimate the severity or negativity of situations in your life; and · You under-estimate your own ability to handle those situations. To help kids who might be struggling with this, I like to help them draw or write out their account of what is troubling them. Often when we look at it on paper, and do this together, we can help them see that it is much smaller than we feared, or more easy to resolve. You can also help them to make lists, or draw pictures of, all their strengths and resources, so they feel better equipped to handle the situation. "Strengths and resources" can include you, as their source of support, their friends, their ability to make people smile, or even their favorite who they can cuddle when they need to. The Beast of Gloom can be daunting but, with the right strategies, it doesn't have to overwhelm you or your children. I hope you find this helpful. If not, let me know! Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author Passing gloom3/13/2024 "Life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is but the passing shadow of a cloud."
Life of Pi Yann Martel To me, this speaks to the temporary nature of depression, which is such an important message to convey to children. It might feel all-consuming at the time, but children need to hear that depression disappears as inexplicably as it appears. All of a sudden, things will start to feel better, and they will return to the things they enjoy. What we can do is reassure them that we will be there for them throughout; with an open heart and an open pair of ears, we are willing to meet them where they are. I hope this helps. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Author The most confining prison3/9/2024 "There is no way to escape your nervous system. It controls your body temperature, the pace of your breathing, how you digest your food, your bowel movements, and a multitude of other functions. As a result, a dysregulated nervous system is the most confining prison that can trap you. But if you can understand your nervous system and the bodily cues of safety and danger, you can learn how to regulate your responses and harness the most effective key to free your mind."
Beyond Your Confines The Workbook provides you with multiple opportunities to escape this confining prison. You will learn how to identify the cues of safety and danger, and use this awareness to regain control over your body and mind. Available in paperback and ebook. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & author #BeyondYourConfinesTheWorkbook #BeyondYourConfines #mentalhealth #ChrisWarrenDickins Chris
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