If you do one thing with your kids this summer, set aside a few minutes to let them know these five things –
1. It’s okay to struggle with difficult feelings It helps kids enormously when they know that they are not the only ones to struggle with difficult feelings. Everyone has at some point, so let them know that these feelings are proof that they are a fascinating, complex human being with a wide spectrum of emotions. 2. Use your own words Help them to use whatever words come to mind to express their difficult feelings. This can be “sad”, “gloomy”, “meh”, “blah”, “anger”, a “leave me alone” feeling, or even a “I’m just not feeling it right now” feeling. 3. Tell me how big those feelings are As them to put on a scale of 0 to 10, how big those feelings are. Are the difficult feelings a small 2 or 3, or are they so big that they are a 9 or 10, and could fill up the room? 4. See the long game It might feel like a 10, so big it can fill up the room, but eventually, it will shrink so small that it will barely be a memory. 5. Remember the good stuff Even though it can feel hard to enjoy these things right now, make a list of the things that usually bring joy, so we can turn to them later, when the difficult feelings have gone away. This can be anything enjoyable like playing with friends, dancing in the sprinklers, going to the beach, playing with pets or siblings, shopping, squidge mallows, getting a smoothie, soccer, softball, swimming, etc. To help you start this conversation about difficult feelings, I have written The Beast of Gloom, an illustrated children’s book about depression. I hope you find it useful. The words are by me, a parent and psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey, and the illustrations are by Theodore Key, a terrifically talented artist in Cape Town, South Africa. Let's normalize conversations about difficult feelings, no matter how big or small. Chris Warren-Dickins Psychotherapist & Parent www.chriswarrendickins.com
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