Here are five strategies to protect yourself from extremism. I hope you find it useful. Please share it with any of your clients, friends, or family members who might need it.
 
Fill the gaps of uncertainty
 
Fill the gaps of uncertainty with knowledge and experience. Read books, talk to people who are not in your usual circles, and learn the “why” of people’s stories. As mathematical statistician, Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote in The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable, we think we know so much that we claim to explain the unexplainable. We are blinded to randomness, and so we limit our ability to learn. Instead, we should harness the utility of uncertainty for our own benefit. Artists, musicians, writers, and actors do this all the time. To do this, we must learn to soothe our anxiety about uncertainty. Breathe through it, and know that the peak of those fight-or-flight sensations is temporary.
 
Ask why
 
Always ask questions. What are the motives behind someone’s behavior? Are they trying to manipulate you because they want power over you? Or perhaps they are trying to get you to join them in scapegoating someone. Scapegoating is when someone is targeted and labeled “problematic” or “troublesome” to preserve the health of the system as a whole; scapegoating takes place in families, friendship groups, workplaces, and society at large. Sometimes scapegoating is used by someone to distract everyone from their own wrongdoing. Ask for evidence, act according to your own values, and trust your own gut instinct.
 
Mine your inner resources
 
With the evolution of digital devices and other technology, blind-faith knowledge is circulating at an exponential rate, and this takes us away from the wisdom that we can find within. Instead, we must actively find ways to disregard these digital devices and mine our inner resources. There are plenty of ways to do this, such as the three-minute breathing space, the four elements exercise, or even a simple moment of square breathing.
 
Unchallenged automatic thoughts
 
Extremism thrives when we don’t challenge our automatic thoughts. Driven by emotion, we can quickly polarize or develop black-and-white thinking; we think someone or something is all good or all bad. In the same heightened state, we can label others, and we can develop catastrophic thinking; for example, if a certain thing happens, it will be a ‘disaster’ or ‘tragedy’ or ‘the end’. We grow when we adopt a sense of curiosity when we are flexible in our views so we can always hold space for new knowledge to make a home in our brain.
 
Say no and shut down
 
As a society, the United States is biased toward extroversion. As a result, we rarely see or hear permission to disengage from social interaction. Mental health requires a balance, and that goes for social interaction too. It can be healing and nourishing to be around people, but it can also be damaging. This is your permission to strike a balance between extroversion and introversion, and occasionally say no to others. That also includes shutting down your electronic devices so you can reset your mind and body. Give yourself a break from the constant deluge of social media, news, and notifications. To do otherwise is to run the risk of burnout.
 
Reach beyond extremism and get Beyond Your Confines, the key to free your mind.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Author & Psychotherapist

Help your kids to talk about their difficult feelings. One useful strategy is to dispel the myths about depression:

Depression is more common than you think, so having these feelings is far from “abnormal.”

Depression is often temporary, so kids need to know that these difficult feelings will reduce in time.

Kids need to know that it helps to talk to others about these difficult feelings. They might not be ready to do this, but just to know that you are there for them when they are ready, is tremendously helpful.

If you need more support, get in contact.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey​

We can't wrap our kids in bubble wrap any more than we can deny the reality that they will experience difficult feelings.

If we deny, ignore, invalidate, or shame difficult feelings, they are likely to grow and grow.

Instead, we can help them identify, express, validate, and allow those difficult feelings so they can ride the natural course of emotions' ups and downs.

The good news: Monkey see, monkey do, so if our kids see us doing this, they will find it easier to do it for themselves.

Thank you for all your kind words about Beyond Your Confines: The Workbook. I am beyond touched to hear that pediatricians, psychotherapists, and other mental health professionals have found this workbook useful.

Here are just some of the reviews:

“As a psychotherapist, I find this workbook to be an extremely valuable tool. It deals with a host of issues people face at times, such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Chris has a wonderful way of clarifying topics and giving the reader an opportunity to think and reflect on their own life story. My best to all the readers who will benefit from this.”
 - Nancy Dykstra-Powers, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

"The individuals who are going to be using this as a tool for growth and healing are lucky to have such an attentive and compassionate writer and clinician. Chris Warren-Dickins has written a wonder. This workbook walks the reader through each step, detailing and offering insights on each point. It was amazing to see how much work and effort Chris has put towards this project; as I can only imagine Chris has put towards so many projects." 
- Candra Savage, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
 
“A post-pandemic workbook that makes self-work accessible to all: whether you are working with your therapist, or you are ready to work on your own at home. Understand the thought distortions and distracted behaviors that keep you trapped; give yourself a greater awareness and acceptance of your emotional state and the underlying past and current traumas that have brought you here; and most importantly learn the tools to break free of them.”  
- Dr Katrina Munteanu, Pediatrician

"We need more workbooks like this in the current climate of polarization. Our mental health post-pandemic has certainly taken a battering and it’s more important than ever to work on ourselves to stay in balance. Psychotherapist Chris Warren-Dickins explains how our need for certainty, and our belief that we are right, can imprison us in a life of eternal limitations.”
- Graeme Smith, award-winning podcaster and radio presenter 

Published this year, Beyond Your Confines: The Workbook is available now.

And if you missed Beyond Your Confines when it was originally published in 2022, it is free for members of Kindle Unlimited.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist and Author​

Thank you to Anna Lazowski for her kind words about The Beast of Gloom:

“You have some really lovely imagery in here, I especially like the idea of the beast filling the room, because that's so accurate as it truly feels like it takes up all the space available.”

The Beast of Gloom is available now.

When the Beast of Gloom appears in your life, please remember:

• It might seem so big right now, but it will reduce in time.
• It might feel like it will last forever, but it won't.
• You might believe that no one understands, but many do.
• You might believe you are the only one who has felt this way, but that isn't true.
• You might not feel like it will change, but it will.

When you are depressed, your brain can't function as well as it might. So lean on the support and guidance of others until the shadow of the Beast of Gloom reduces, and you can see your way to those better days.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist & Author
(Illustrations by the wonderful Theodore Key)