Beyond Your Confines. By Chris Warren-Dickins

Beyond the blog

Surviving Cisgender Privilege

7/28/2019

 
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You have made it this far in life’s journey without having to concern yourself with conversations about Gender Identity.  Chances are, you have been experiencing Cisgender Privilege.
 
What is Cisgender?
You would experience Cisgender Privilege if you identify as Cisgender.  This means you still identify with the label (for example, the Male Label) you were given at birth.  
 
If you do not identify with the label you were given at birth (whether that is the Male Label or the Female Label), you may (for example) identify as transgender, gender non-conforming, gender queer, or non-binary (collectively referred to as Gender Diverse, for ease of reference).
 
So what is Cisgender Privilege?
To identify as Cisgender means that you experience Cisgender Privilege, whether you are aware of this or not. Cisgender Privilege means that you do not have to endure the overt and covert discrimination experienced by many people who are Gender Diverse. 
 
Cisgender Privilege means you do not have to fear being denied work, denied a home, denied healthcare, denied a place to worship, denied friends and a family to love, and denied your own personal safety, because of your true Gender Identity. 
 
Cisgender Privilege means that you do not have to remind people (even your loved ones) of your pronouns, and/or your name (for example, you are not dead-named).
 
Seemingly innocuous moments in everyday life can symbolize Cisgender Privilege, which basically assumes a binary construct of Gender Identity.  Examples of these everyday moments are set out below:
  • You fill out a form and it asks you to tick the box ‘Male’ or ‘Female’.  There is no box for people who identify as Gender Diverse
  • Your friend is pregnant and holds a gender reveal party with ‘Pink or Blue?’ on every single decoration, including the cake and balloons
  • There are only two bathrooms, one labelled ‘male’ and one labelled ‘female’
  • The same goes for other public facilities including locker rooms in gyms and changing rooms in clothes stores
  • Waiting to board a plane, the airline announces that only women and young children can board first
  • There are role models in the media and in the political arena who are Cisgender
  • There are rites of passage, public ceremonies, and other traditions based around the binary concept of male and female
  • You register your child for a sports class and the instructor asks your child to get changed in the girl’s locker room
  • You go to a high school graduation where everyone is told to sit in two sections:  The male section and the female section
 
To pretend that there are only Cisgender Males and Cisgender Females in society is to pretend that parts of our population, the Gender Diverse community, do not exist.  To do this is offensive, and it can leave a lasting impact on someone’s mental health:
  • 40% of people who are Gender Diverse report a suicide attempt 
  • 92% of people who are Gender Diverse attempt suicide before the age of 25 
  • 86% of people who are Gender Diverse report sexual or physical assault 
(Trevor Project)

To live with Cisgender Privilege is to live a life free of the fear of discrimination because of your Gender Identity.  The impact of this discrimination is vividly set out in a report issued by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC).  The HRC gathered first-hand accounts of people who were living with this discrimination on a daily basis, and here are just a couple of those accounts:

'Alexander S., a 16-year-old transgender boy in Texas, said:  I started getting a lot of anonymous people telling me to kill myself, that it wasn’t worth living. I called the school and told them what was going on and they didn’t do anything'

'It was “like a little mental pinch” when teachers used the wrong pronouns.  “It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but eventually you bruise”, 17-year-old transgender student in Utah'


Less obvious forms of discrimination include microaggressions, which are everyday slights, snubs or insults that communicate hostility (whether or not they are intentional).  GLAAD ran a photo campaign to highlight this issue.  Here are some examples from that campaign –
  • Seven, a transgender man, was asked “Did you transition because you thought you were an ugly girl?”
  • Jacob, who is gender queer, was asked “When are you going to really transition?”
  • Tyler, who is agender/queer, was told “you need to shave if you’re trying to look like a girl”
  • Tiq, a trans man, was told “I would never have known you used to be a girl”
  • Shane, a trans man, was told “You understand what it’s like to be a woman”
 
To acknowledge all of this, and the Privilege of a someone who is Cisgender, is not to deny the suffering that that Cisgender person may experience as a result of another aspect of their identity.  For example, if a Cisgender person is also a gay man, they will likely endure their own experiences of overt and covert discrimination, including microaggressions, verbal abuse, and assault.  But to acknowledge the suffering of one group of people does not deny the suffering of another group. 
 
If we are to truly understand the concept of Privilege, we cannot stop at Gender Identity.  For example, someone who is white and transgender will experience White Privilege that a black transgender person would not.  As the American Psychological Association points out, each of our “social identities contribute uniquely and in intersecting ways to shape” how we experience and perform our lives (APA Guidelines, 2018).  In turn, this has an impact on “relational, psychological, and behavioural health outcomes in both positive and negative ways”.  We need to consider the person as a whole, as well as the interaction of each part of their identity.
 
As we progress through life’s journey, we will meet many travel companions.  Just because we share the same Male Label, and even if we view the same landscape, doesn’t mean our experience of it will be the same.  Only when we embrace our similarities and our differences, can we truly appreciate the journey ahead, and the people who accompany us on that journey.
 
Quick tips to address Cisgender Privilege

  • Raise awareness about the Privilege of being Cisgender
  • Stop making assumptions about people’s Gender Identity.  If in doubt, and it seems appropriate, ask.  If not, use ‘they’ rather than ‘him’ or ‘her’
  • Normalize the concept of identifying gender, including a person’s pronouns, and include your own pronouns in your email signoff
  • Gender Identity is a personal matter.  How you identify, and how much you share that with another person, is up to you
  • Challenge the overly simplistic division of the human race into the binary fiction of ‘men or women’.  We really can do better.  Gender is a spectrum as varied as any other components to a person’s identity.  The binary ‘Male or Female’ option has never, ever reflected reality, so isn’t it high time we caught up?  If you remain unconvinced about this, have a look at my article Surviving Gender Identity Myths.
 
So what do you think?
Does any of this resonate with you?  Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate
 
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook

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Surviving one person's pain does not diminish another's

7/14/2019

 
Currently campaigning to become President of the United States, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand explained that an acknowledgement of white privilege was not a denial of a white person’s suffering. “We just need to acknowledge suffering in all its forms.”

I would like to expand on this:  An acknowledgement of the suffering of the Male Labelled is not a denial of the suffering of the Female Labelled, or any other gender identity. It is for the benefit of all society that we acknowledge the suffering of every part of that society.

Let me know if you have any thoughts on this.  And if you didn't see Gillibrand's comments on white privilege, check it out here

​Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns:  (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQIA+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/

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Surviving Structural Oppression

7/1/2019

 
On Friday I had the honour of an invitation to the United Nations.  I attended the Transgender Care Expert Panel, and I was eager to find out how I, as a psychotherapist who works with transgender, nonbinary, gender diverse and gender questioning people, can help tackle discrimination at a structural level.  I only got a chance to speak at the end, so you will find me at minute point 1.01:54 onwards.  The answer I got was a little brief, but it is the start of a debate that I hope to continue. The United Nations video also contains useful resources, so please do share this -

http://webtv.un.org/watch/panel-discussion-on-transgender-society/6053662594001/
​

Too often I find that the changes that need to take place are not necessarily at an individual level (ie, within the individual psychotherapy sessions I provide).  A great deal of the anxiety and depression is caused by the discrimination experienced by people who are transgender, nonbinary, gender diverse and gender questioning.  And we cannot ignore the shocking statistics:  “48% of all transgender adults report that they have considered suicide in the past 12 months, compared to 4% of the overall US population” (NAMI).

I encourage you to share the United Nations video and continue this dialogue.  More importantly, I encourage you to identify ways to tackle discrimination at a structural level
​
​Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook 
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    Chris 
    ​Warren-Dickins

    Psychotherapist and author of Beyond Your Confines and Beyond the Blue 

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Written by psychotherapist Chris Warren-Dickins,
Beyond Your Confines will help you to
​discover the wisdom and natural rhythms that exist within.
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