Chris Warren-Dickins - Author and Therapist

Beyond the blog

The double-bind of gloom

5/1/2025

 
The author Margaret Atwood called it "the Sluggish Wave," it was Winston Churchill’s "Black Dog," and some have referred to it as a wet rubber blanket. In my new children's book, I called it The Beast of Gloom. 
What would you call it?

The Beast of Gloom Is a tricky fella! Unlike other challenges to your mental health, the Beast of Gloom (the name I chose for depression in my new children's book) is particularly tricky. When it takes hold, it can leave you in a double bind:
· You over-estimate the severity or negativity of situations in your life; and
· You under-estimate your own ability to handle those situations.

To help kids who might be struggling with this, I like to help them draw or write out their account of what is troubling them. Often when we look at it on paper, and do this together, we can help them see that it is much smaller than we feared, or more easy to resolve.

You can also help them to make lists, or draw pictures of, all their strengths and resources, so they feel better equipped to handle the situation. "Strengths and resources" can include you, as their source of support, their friends, their ability to make people smile, or even their favorite who they can cuddle when they need to.

The Beast of Gloom can be daunting but, with the right strategies, it doesn't have to overwhelm you or your children.

#ChildrensMentalHealth #depression #thebeastofgloom
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Helping your kids with self-care

4/30/2025

 
It's never too early to learn about self-care. Monkey see, money do, and those little monkeys are watching our every move. So if we aren't exercising self-care, your kid won't either...And then we'll have on our hands a kid who is stressed, depressed, and burned out.
​

Here are some examples of self-care you can teach your kids this weekend:
1. Allowing yourself some silly TV, simply for fun.
2. Reading comic books.
3. A simple breathing exercise such as "square breathing".
4. A simple mindfulness exercise such as the "loving kindness meditation".
5. A warm bath.
6. Playing with your dog or cat.
7. Running around and being silly in the backyard.

I hope this helps. I would love to see your list; let me know how you and your kids exercise self-care.
 
#childrensmentalhealth #parenting #teachers #depression​
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Kind words from a fellow author

4/30/2025

 
"You have some really lovely imagery in here, I especially like the idea of the beast filling the room, because that's so accurate as it truly feels like it takes up all the space available.” Anna Lazowski (author)

The Beast of Gloom is available now.
Words by psychotherapist Chris Warren-Dickins, illustrations by the wonderful Theodore Key.

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What to say to someone who is struggling

4/28/2025

 
Helpful phrases when your child struggles with their feelings:

“I can see how much you are feeling about it right now.”
“I am here when you need me.”
“Would you like my help with this?”
“I care about you right now, no matter what is going on.”
“Would you like to find an emotion word to match those feelings?”
“On a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 is the most intense it has ever felt, where would you put those feelings right now?”
“I can see you are really trying your hardest with this right now.”
“You can say whatever you like about what you feel. I will still be here for you.”

Learn more.
Illustrations by the exceptionally talented Theodore Key
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The importance of self-care

4/28/2025

 
It's never too early to learn about self-care.

Monkey see, money do, and those little monkeys are watching our every move. So if we aren't exercising self-care, your kid won't either...And then we'll have on our hands a kid who is stressed, depressed, and burned out.
​
Here are some examples of self-care you can teach your kids this weekend:
1. Allowing yourself some silly TV, simply for fun.
2. Reading comic books.
3. A simple breathing exercise such as "square breathing".
4. A simple mindfulness exercise such as the "loving kindness meditation".
5. A warm bath.
6. Playing with your dog or cat.
7. Running around and being silly in the backyard.

I hope this helps. I would love to see your list; let me know how you and your kids exercise self-care.

#childrensmentalhealth #parenting #teachers #depression
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Ready to plan your summer reading?

4/28/2025

 
Is it too early to think about summer reading? This is a parenting tool to help your kids learn about "big feelings".
It's never too early to learn about this.

"Beyond the warmth of sunshine and joy, beyond the fun of favorite toys,
There lurks a Beast of darkness and gloom, A Beast so large, he can fill up the room."

The Beast of Gloom is available now.
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/beast-of-gloom.html
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Helping your kids with difficult feelings

4/28/2025

 
To help kids manage difficult feelings, try an exercise called "Opposite Action."
​
Help your kid to make a list of actions that produce the opposite of the difficult feelings. For example, if they are feeling low-energy because of depression, list activities that could increase their energy. This could be star jumps, hiking, or even trying intensely flavored foods (lemons, for example).

Making a list will help them to gain a sense of ownership over the exercise, and it will also give them a sense of control or certainty.

#ChildrensMentalHealth #parentingtips #mentalhealth #depression
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Patriarchy and our mental health

3/7/2025

 
Richard C. Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, has extensively explored the concept of legacy burdens in the United States, with patriarchy being a notable example.

According to Schwartz, here are three ways patriarchy can impact our mental health:

1. “Patriarchy encourages us to suppress qualities that don’t fit the prescribed masculine ideal. This leads to self-rejection, shame, and disconnection from our true selves, perpetuating cycles of pain and inequality.”

2. “The patriarchal framework creates a split within us—encouraging men to suppress vulnerability and women to silence their power. To heal, we must recognize and integrate these divided parts of ourselves.”

3. “True healing requires not just the transformation of the individual, but the systems and structures that reinforce disempowerment. If we don’t address the societal impact, like patriarchy, we can never fully heal our internal family dynamics.”

What do you make of these? I would love to hear your thoughts. You can add comments below or get in contact with me here.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist & Author
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The "why" behind confusing behavior

3/4/2025

 
It can help to understand the "why" of someone's behavior. The same can be said about extremism.
To belong, to have a sense of identity; these are powerful needs that compel some to act in surprising ways.
The answer: Help them to meet those needs in a healthier way.
https://youtube.com/shorts/ArUzs5nD0Tk?si=lvZJ3s_AfPCPNeSF
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Our legacy burdens

3/3/2025

 
In a sea of uncertainty, we can keep afloat by understanding the legacies that have led us to this current turmoil. Richard C. Schwartz and Martha Sweezy explain this in their book, Internal Family Systems Therapy:

“The United states carries a variety of legacy burdens some brought by early Europeans and some gathered as the country developed. We believe that the following legacy burdens are linked and have been particularly instrumental in shaping the nature of exiling in this country:

·     Racism: Used to justify the genocide of Native Americans and the enslavement of Africans, who were abducted from their homes.
·     Patriarchy: Sprang from European and religious roots.
·     Individualism: Produced by the survival struggles of pioneers, individualism fosters contempt for vulnerability and a belief that failure is a personal fault.
·     Materialism: Produced in part by the economic and physical hardships suffered by immigrants to the American continent, it is no doubt made worse by the routine, threatening cycles of financial boom and bust that typify capitalist economies.

These formidable legacy burdens exist along with others that relate to the long history of domestic and foreign wars as well as internecine efforts to exclude particular religious groups formerly Catholics and Jews now Muslims. In addition to these burdens people in the United states carry beliefs and emotions that derive from the history of their particular ethnic groups many come from immigrant groups that were repeatedly invaded starved subjected to natural disasters or oppressed for generations by scapegoating discrimination pogroms and Holocausts. Their progeny inherit the shamefulness fear despair grief loyalty rage and distrust of authority generated by these traumas often without a specific narrative to connect their feelings and beliefs to the burdens origins
.”

Do you have any thoughts on this? How much do you believe that these legacy burdens are impacting your mental health?

I would love to hear from you. You can c​ontact me via this page, or add a comment below.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist & Author
 

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    Chris 
    ​Warren-Dickins

    Psychotherapist and author of Beyond Powerlessness, Beyond Burnout, Beyond Loneliness, The Beast of Gloom, Beyond Your Confines: The Workbook, Beyond Your Confines, and Beyond the Blue 

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