Have we forgotten the art of compassion?

Compassion means...

• A desire for suffering to end.
  
• An acknowledgement that we all make mistakes.
  
• A tendency to understand rather than criticize or punish.
  
• A mindful, balanced approach to life.

Beyond Your Confines The Workbook is available now.
Chris Warren-Dickins

There is no way to escape your nervous system. It controls your body temperature, the pace of your breathing, how you digest your food, your bowel movements, and a multitude of other functions. As a result, a dysregulated nervous system is the most confining prison you can be trapped by... 

...But if you can understand your nervous system and the bodily cues of safety and danger, you can learn how to regulate your responses and harness the most effective key to free your mind.
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Beyond Your Confines, The Workbook is available now.
Chris Warren-Dickins

Our intolerance of uncertainty can leave us clutching at any form of certainty. Research shows that the certainty offered by fundamentalist religions, extreme political groups, radical interest groups, and conspiracy theories promises a tempting relief to our anxiety.
 
Part of us knows what is being promised is not the whole truth because it is so polished and over-simplified, but it is preferable to claim to know rather than admit that, for a great deal of life, we cannot know.

Beyond Your Confines
Chris Warren-Dickins

Extremism also offers a sense of identity, a clear template so we do not have to struggle with what can sometimes be an uncomfortable process of self-discovery.
 
As psychology professor Arie W. Kruglanski points out, one of the appealing factors is the “ideological narrative—the story a terrorist group tells to justify its actions,” justifying the actions according to “group values.”

Beyond Your Confines
Chris Warren-Dickins

 Here are five strategies to protect yourself from extremism. I hope you find it useful. Please share it with any of your clients, friends, or family members who might need it.
 
Fill the gaps of uncertainty
 
Fill the gaps of uncertainty with knowledge and experience. Read books, talk to people who are not in your usual circles, and learn the “why” of people’s stories. As mathematical statistician, Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote in The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable, we think we know so much that we claim to explain the unexplainable. We are blinded to randomness, and so we limit our ability to learn. Instead, we should harness the utility of uncertainty for our own benefit. Artists, musicians, writers, and actors do this all the time. To do this, we must learn to soothe our anxiety about uncertainty. Breathe through it, and know that the peak of those fight-or-flight sensations is temporary.
 
Ask why
 
Always ask questions. What are the motives behind someone’s behavior? Are they trying to manipulate you because they want power over you? Or perhaps they are trying to get you to join them in scapegoating someone. Scapegoating is when someone is targeted and labeled “problematic” or “troublesome” to preserve the health of the system as a whole; scapegoating takes place in families, friendship groups, workplaces, and society at large. Sometimes scapegoating is used by someone to distract everyone from their own wrongdoing. Ask for evidence, act according to your own values, and trust your own gut instinct.
 
Mine your inner resources
 
With the evolution of digital devices and other technology, blind-faith knowledge is circulating at an exponential rate, and this takes us away from the wisdom that we can find within. Instead, we must actively find ways to disregard these digital devices and mine our inner resources. There are plenty of ways to do this, such as the three-minute breathing space, the four elements exercise, or even a simple moment of square breathing.
 
Unchallenged automatic thoughts
 
Extremism thrives when we don’t challenge our automatic thoughts. Driven by emotion, we can quickly polarize or develop black-and-white thinking; we think someone or something is all good or all bad. In the same heightened state, we can label others, and we can develop catastrophic thinking; for example, if a certain thing happens, it will be a ‘disaster’ or ‘tragedy’ or ‘the end’. We grow when we adopt a sense of curiosity when we are flexible in our views so we can always hold space for new knowledge to make a home in our brain.
 
Say no and shut down
 
As a society, the United States is biased toward extroversion. As a result, we rarely see or hear permission to disengage from social interaction. Mental health requires a balance, and that goes for social interaction too. It can be healing and nourishing to be around people, but it can also be damaging. This is your permission to strike a balance between extroversion and introversion, and occasionally say no to others. That also includes shutting down your electronic devices so you can reset your mind and body. Give yourself a break from the constant deluge of social media, news, and notifications. To do otherwise is to run the risk of burnout.
 
Reach beyond extremism and get Beyond Your Confines, the key to free your mind.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Author & Psychotherapist