Beyond Your Confines. By Chris Warren-Dickins

Beyond the blog

Surviving Intersectionality

8/29/2019

 
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Life’s journey can be long and consuming.  We are too focused on reaching the endpoint in our adventure, so we miss the finer detail of life that is scattered along our footpath.  Take, for instance, the web of a person’s identity; only when we look closely can we see the many interconnections woven together.  It is a thing of beauty, but it can also become a trap.
 
We do not just carry a Male Label.  Our Male Label has been given to us with certain conditions, and if we look carefully, we see that these conditions differ greatly, depending on how our Male Label intersects with other aspects of our identity - 
  • Our true Gender Identity
  • Our Sexuality, and
  • Our Ethnicity
 
In 2018 the APA published a report that highlighted the critical health disparities facing Male Labelled Persons of Color and Male Labelled members of the LGBTQ+ community (because of their Sexuality). I have attached the full report to this article.  
 
In their report, the APA identified four critical issues that impact these health disparities –
  • Depression
  • Substance Abuse
  • Trauma, and
  • Violence
 
A clear message from the report was that if we are to Survive the Male Label, we need to focus on the intersection of Gender with other aspects of a person’s identity, including Sexuality and Ethnicity (APA Report 2018). In another article, I argue that we also need to understand how the Male Label intersects with a person's true Gender Identity.
 
An intersection, not a cul-de-sac
As a psychotherapist, I help people work through Depression, Substance Abuse, Trauma and Violence.  To truly tackle these life-changing issues, I cannot just view my client with blue-tinted lenses of their Male Label.  To view them as simply the binary opposite of the Pink Female Label would be to cul-de-sac my understanding of them to borrow a phrase from Dr Zac Seidler, (Seidler 2018).
 
Instead, I need to meet this client at the intersection of various aspects of their identity.  I need to understand how their Male Label intersects with their true Gender Identity, Sexuality, and Ethnicity.  And I need to understand how all of this impacts on the experiences of Depression, Substance Abuse, Trauma or Violence.
 
If we are to go Beyond the Blue of the Male Label, Beyond the over-simplistic view of the Male Labelled as simply a binary opposite of the Pink Female Labelled, we need to take a closer look at identity, and to the critical issues that impact a person's life (Depression, Substance Abuse, Trauma and Violence). 

If we are to Survive the Male Label, we need to learn about
  • What unites us; for example, the power and privilege implied by the Male Label,
  • But also what distinguishes us; for example, our unique experiences of that Male Label, depending on the intersection of that Male Label with other parts of our identity.
 
So what do you think?
Does any of this resonate with you?  Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate
 
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook

References
  1. APA’s Guidelines for Psychological Practice With Boys and Men, 2018 (APA Guidelines, 2018)
  2. American Psychological Association, APA Working Group on Health Disparities in Boys and Men. (2018) (APA Report 2018)
  3. Engaging Men in Psychological Treatment: A Scoping Review, Zac E.Seidler MCP, Simon M Rice, PhD, John S. Ogrodniczuk PhD, John L. Oliffe Phd RN, Haryana M Dhillon, Phd, American Journal of Men’s Health, vol 12, 6: pp. 1882-1900 (Seidler, 2018).
 
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Surviving Medical Mistrust

8/10/2019

 
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Along life’s journey you stumble and fall.  Your face slams against the jagged rocks and you need medical assistance.  But who can you trust to help you?
 
Medical Mistrust and the Male Label
If you were given the Male Label at birth, you are less likely to seek help when you need to.  Part of the reason is because of the way you were conditioned; you were taught to soldier on, no matter the injury. 

Even if you do seek help, as someone who has been given the Male Label, your behaviour is more likely to be interpreted by the helping profession as ‘angry’ or ‘aggressive’.  As the American Psychological Association makes clear, the Male Labelled are ‘more likely to be diagnosed with externalizing disorders (e.g., conduct disorder and substance use disorders)’ (APA Guidelines 2018).  I discuss this more in my previous article (Surviving the Dark Void of Depression Part 1).

Medical Mistrust amongst the Gender Diverse
If you were given the Male Label at birth and you are Gender Diverse, you may be even less likely to trust that you will get the help you need.  According to the Center for American Progress -
  • 29% of people who are Gender Diverse have been refused treatment because of their Gender Identity,
  • 21% received abusive or harsh language from their health care provider, and
  • 29% experienced physical or sexual assault from their health care provider.
​
Medical Mistrust amongst other members of the LGBTQ+ community
If you were given the Male Label and you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community (because of your sexuality), your medical mistrust may be multiplied because - 
  • 8% of members of the LGBTQ+ community were refused treatment because of their sexual orientation,
  • 9% received abusive or harsh language from their health care provider, and
  • 7% experienced physical or sexual assault from their health care provider
(Center for American Progress)
 
Medical Mistrust amongst Persons of Color
If you were given the Male Label at birth and you are a Person of Color, you are more likely to delay seeking help for medical complaints.  Dr Wizdom Powell, the lead author of a study in the journal Behavioural Medicine, claims that this is due to ‘medical mistrust’ of the health care system.  Studies consistently show that
  • Persons of Color are less likely to receive the same standard of care as white people  
  • There are significant structural barriers for Persons of Color to access adequate health care
  • Racism (whether conscious or not) impacts the healthcare system at every level 
​
Regaining Trust 
Regaining Trust amongst the Male Labelled
There have been some efforts to encourage the Male Labelled to seek help and to try and address the gender bias amongst the helping profession.  Examples include The Good Men Project and the Movember Foundation. There is still much room for improvement.
 
Regaining Trust amongst the Gender Diverse
There are some worrying changes afoot with the Department of Health and Human Services.  However, great organisations are working hard to address what is turning out to be the denial of basic human rights for some people who are Gender Diverse.  Examples of the organisations doing great work to address this: National Center for Transgender Equality, Lambda Legal, Human Rights Campaign, World Professional Association for Transgender Health, and National Center for LGBT Health Education.
 
Regaining Trust amongst other members of the LGBTQ+ community
We have come a long way in addressing homophobia, but there is still much work to do.  And there is even more work to do to address biphobia.  However, there are organisations hard at work to address this, such as the Human Rights Campaign, Lambda Legal, National Center for LGBT Health Education.
 
Regaining Trust amongst Persons of Color
Although there are still significant structural obstacles for Persons of Color to access adequate health care, there are some important initiatives.  For example, there is My Brother’s Keeper, created by former President Obama, the National Black Nurses Association, and the Lee Thompson Young Foundation.
 
Code of Ethics
Remember that each healthcare professional is bound by a Code of Ethics, and that should include a prohibition on discriminatory practice.
The Codes of Ethics have been created by the governing body for each profession.  For example, there is the American Medical Association, American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, American Counseling Association, National Association of Social Workers, etc.
If you find that the conduct of a healthcare professional is in any way discriminatory, you can raise a complaint with that governing body
 
So what do you think?
Does any of this resonate with you?  Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate
 
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook 
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Surviving the toxicity of the label 'toxic masculinity'

8/10/2019

 
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Imagine you have been forging your way through life’s journey, happy to have the company of other travelling companions.  And then all of a sudden you find you are alone.  Your travel companions have backed away from you, and some of them are covering their mouths.  They view you as toxic, because of the Male Label on your back.

They never thought this way before, but all of a sudden you are the problem; you are the aggressor, and they want nothing more to do with you.  If you try to reach out to them, they back away as if they fear that your Male Label will somehow contaminate them.

Some believe that the Male Label is toxic. They say that the Male Label gives a person power and privilege, and with that power and privilege comes corruption.  A corrosive, toxic corruption.

Here is why this does not add up -

  • Not all Male Labelled hold power and privilege.  For example, Male Labelled people who are Gender Diverse, or members of the LGBTQ+ community (because of their sexuality), or Persons of Color have always been oppressed and discriminated against.  As the American Psychological Association (APA) points out, these groups of the Male Labelled occupy a ‘precarious social position because they are marginalized in one social identity domain (eg, race/ethnicity and sexual orientation) and presumed to be privileged in another (eg, gender) (APA Report, 2018)

  • Even if some of the Male Labelled do hold power and privilege, not all Male Labelled people abuse their power or privilege.

  • Even if we do find some people abusing their power, if we beat a dog for biting, they will probably bite again.  We need to try and understand what motivated their behaviour (was it learned behaviour?, were they frightened?), and we need to try and teach them other ways to respond.

No person is toxic.  To label someone this way is to dehumanise them, and we can all see from the history books how quickly dehumanisation can destroy a society.

Only when we treat someone as a human being, with the potential for good, can we start to understand them, and perhaps see a glimmer of hope for change.

There is a lot of work to do at an individual level, but this needs to be carried out in concert with changes at a structural level.  Dr Wizdom Powell (Director of the Health Disparities Institute and Associate Professor at UConn Health) explains that we, as a society, have created this problem: 
‘We are complicit in maintaining this idea of masculinities that is mythic and difficult to achieve’. 

The Male Labelled are given these messages at a very young age, and they often grow up believing that this is the only way.  We need to look long and hard at the way we raise our young Male Labelled people and learn how to make changes in partnership with, not in opposition to, each other.

Dr Powell adds that we need to pay particular attention to the structural arrangements for ‘racial and ethnic minority males that make it even more likely that men will push back from seeking the help they need’. I would add that this also applies to the Male Labelled who are Gender Diverse, and other members of the LGBTQ+ community.  When discrimination such as racism, transphobia, homophobia and biphobia interact with a gender bias in the helping profession (for example, when members of the helping profession refer to the Male Labelled as ‘toxic’), this can leave the Male Labelled at a distinct disadvantage.

So if we are going to look at ‘toxic masculinity’ and the Male Label, we have to also consider other forms of abuse of power and privilege, other forms of dehumanising people.  In short, we need to tackle the toxicity of gender bias, transphobia, homophobia, biphobia and racism.  

So what do you think?
Does any of this resonate with you?  Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook
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Surviving Sexual Violation - Part 1

8/10/2019

 
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In the dead of night, you hear the cry of a hawk, and your body freezes with fear.  Your eyes are wide, your blood is pumping, and your heart is in your throat.  Without a moment to think, you are in fight or flight mode, a primal instinct in response to an imaginary attack.
 
You curse yourself for overreacting.  It was just a hawk. But ever since the trauma, that is how your body reacts.  And that is how many people react when they are the Survivor of sexual violation.  But for many who carry the Male Label (referred to as the Male Labelled), their fears are kept deep inside their heart. For many, talking about it is not an option.

At least one in six people who are Male Labelled have been sexually violated (1in6.org), and experts say the number is probably much higher. Here are some of the reasons why –

  • It takes someone who is Male Labelled an average of 22 years to speak about their experiences as a Survivor of sexual violation (1in6.org)
 
  • Society conditions the Male Labelled to remain silent and to hide their vulnerability. If someone who is Male Labelled were to report their own sexual violation, this might be viewed (by some) as a direct contradiction to this conditioning. This might mean that someone who is Male Labelled might not recognise themselves as a Survivor of sexual violation, or they may be too ashamed to report it.  Even worse, other people might not believe them
 
  • Society often interprets (and dismisses) the distress of someone who is Male Labelled as an act of ‘aggression’ or ‘anger’. Too often, this external behaviour is focused on, rather than the root cause of the behaviour (for example, the experience of a trauma)
 
  • Society often reinforces unhelpful myths about sexual violation, including -
    • a. Someone who is Male Labelled cannot be a Survivor of sexual violation (Myth)
    • b. Someone who is Female Labelled cannot be a perpetrator of sexual violation (Myth)
    • c. Sexual violation is about sex and/or sexuality (Myth)
 
This last point is a really important one to clarify. Sexual violation is not about sex or sexuality. Sexual violation is an act of violence inflicted by the perpetrator in an attempt to overpower, to control, or to punish the Survivor.  Sexual desire, and/or sexual orientation have nothing to do with sexual violation. 
 
Symptoms
If you have experienced sexual violation, or you know someone who has, one of the most intense resulting symptoms is shame. Shame goes to the core of you, tricking you into the belief that there is something intrinsically wrong with you. This is distinguished from guilt, which is regret for an action you did or did not do. Shame is about you, whereas guilt is about what you do/do not do. 
 
Along with shame, you may also experience humiliation, rage, sadness and fear. You may be easily angered or easily upset, and you may have flashbacks, or become emotionally numb. 
 
It can help to understand a couple of these symptoms of the trauma of sexual violation-
 
Emotionally numb – The term for this is dissociation. To survive the experience of sexual violation, your brain might have shut down for a moment. It did what it needed to, otherwise the experience might have been overwhelming.
The trouble is, the danger has now passed, so you need to reconnect with your emotions, your thoughts, and your body. With the help of a trained professional (such as a psychotherapist), you can learn some grounding exercises, to become aware of your whole self. 
 
Hypervigilance, easy to become startled or get angered or upset – If you were sexually violated, your body probably went into fight or flight mode. Your sympathetic nervous system kicked in, sending the blood pumping around your body, and readying your body to fight or flee. 
The trouble is, you were not able to get away, and so your brain and body are still stuck in that fight or flight mode.  Stuck in hypervigilance, you are still ready for attack, long after the danger has gone. 
 
Have a look at Part 2 of this article to see what can help in the healing process.  The most important thing is to feel a sense of control over the process.  After all, at one time, the world became a less safe place, and a sense of control was forcibly taken.  It is time to restore that sense of safety and to restore control over your life.
 
So what do you think?
Does any of this resonate with you?  Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate
 
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook

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Surviving the Blue - Part 1

8/6/2019

 
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During life’s journey, we often see an expanse of Blue. 

  • For some of us, Blue represents the ocean of sky that stretches on for miles. 
  • For others, Blue represents their Male Gender Identity, a binary opposite to the Pink of a Female Label.  
 
Blue meant something far different to the person I met when I was working at a homeless shelter one Christmas.  Blue was this person’s name, and for them, Blue also represented a colour of Melancholy and Depression. 

Blue had been homeless on and off for several years, and perhaps this ground them down.  Perhaps this darkened the colour so that the Blue of their Depression weighed too heavily on them because by the following Christmas, Blue had died by suicide.
 
Society has a problem with someone like Blue, who represents an Inconvenient Truth.  Blue had been given the Male Label at birth, and so society would like to say:

'Take the Blue Male Label, as this will give you strength, stoicism and independence, and this will leave no room for the Blue of Depression.
Only those with the Pink of the Female Label can suffer from Depression because only they can experience vulnerability, emotion, and relationship.' 


And yet Blue still suffered from Depression, and Blue still died by suicide.  So Blue represents an Inconvenient Truth lingering over Two Fallacies that still prevail in society:
  1. Fallacy Number One:  That a person’s true Gender Identity is a product of one of two binary opposites: The Female or Male Label.  In my article Surviving Gender Identity Myths I discuss how this has been proven to be false; there are multiple Gender Identities Beyond the Binary of Pink or Blue
  2. Fallacy Number Two:  That someone who has been labelled as Male from birth is somehow less able to emote or relate.  In my article Surviving the Dark Void of Depression Part 1 I discuss how this has been proven to be false.  The Male Labelled are just as capable of emoting and relating.  As a result, they are just as prone to Depression.
 
To help you get past the Two Fallacies about the Male Labelled and Depression, know these three things –
  1. The Male Labelled are more than three times more likely to die by suicide
  2. The Male Labelled are conditioned to ignore their emotions, and instead of seeking help, they often turn to other means (suicide, violence, substance use), so their Depression remains undiscovered
  3. Because of this conditioning, the helping profession can be prone to gender bias.  Even if people who are Male Labelled do seek help, the helping profession can sometimes miss the Depression. Instead, they label their behaviour ‘aggression’ or ‘anger’ instead of Depression
 
In Part 2 of this article, I will share some of the wisdom I learned from Blue.  This is important stuff that Blue taught me, and even if it did not help Blue to survive, I hope that others will use it to go Beyond the Blue of their own Depression. 

For now, I want to communicate this message: 

​We need to let our imagination go Beyond the Blue of the Male Label.  If we can imagine that human nature is more complex and more unique than the Labels we use, we will open our minds to the possibility that the Male Labelled can and do suffer from Depression. 

Once we see that this is possible, we will identify the warning signs that are being communicated to us.  And perhaps more people will get that essential help before it is too late, before they are lost Beyond the Blue.
 
So what do you think?
Does any of this resonate with you?  Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate
 
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook

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    Chris 
    ​Warren-Dickins

    Psychotherapist and author of Beyond Your Confines and Beyond the Blue 

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Written by psychotherapist Chris Warren-Dickins,
Beyond Your Confines will help you to
​discover the wisdom and natural rhythms that exist within.
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Address: 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450 

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