Survival Guide for Professionals6/28/2019  So you work with people who have been given the Male Label from birth (referred to as the Male Labelled). Did you know that the Male Label is associated with a greater risk of harm? For example, the Male Labelled are at greater risk from suicide, substance abuse, violence, incarceration, rough sleeping, and exclusion from school.
The Male Labelled are associated with even greater a risk when that Male Label intersects with other parts of a person's identity. For example, we need to consider the impact of discrimination on
So we need to know how to help. I have put together a Survival Guide for Professionals working with the Male Labelled. This includes the following essential tools -
Please get in touch via the Contact Page if you are interested in training from the Male Labelled Academy. This will help you to deepen your knowledge of the Male Label, and how this intersects with other aspects of a person's identity (including their true Gender Identity, Sexuality, and Ethnicity). Together we need to reduce the harm associated with the Male Label and work towards a healthier, happier society Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate #beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook
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Survival Guide for Family and Friends6/27/2019  We all know and love people who have been labelled Male from birth (referred to here as the Male Labelled). Because we care about them, we should know that the Male Label is associated with a greater risk of harm. For example, the Male Labelled are at greater risk from suicide, substance abuse, violence, incarceration, rough sleeping, and exclusion from school.
The Male Labelled are associated with even greater a risk when that Male Label intersects with other parts of a person's identity. For example, we need to consider the impact of discrimination on
So we need to know how to help. I have put together a Survival Guide for Family and Friends of the Male Labelled. This includes the following essential tools -
Please get in touch via the Contact Page if you would like to change anything about the Survival Guide. And if you need any more information that is not already covered by the Guide. Together we can reduce the harm associated with the Male Label, and work towards a healthier, happier society. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate #beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook Surviving Connection and Relationship6/27/2019  Night falls, and your journey becomes that much harder. You are out in the wilderness, so all you have are your travel companions. You need them to guide you through, to make sure you don’t veer too far from the beaten path and over the cliff’s edge. You quickly realise that connection to others is a matter of survival, it isn’t just a nice thing to have.
In his book ‘I Don’t Want To Talk About It’, Terence Real claims that the Male Labelled (people who have been given a Male Label at birth) are conditioned to go it alone; they are taught how to confront and assert, but not to connect with, and relate to, others. To deprive the Male Labelled of the opportunity to connect with others seems unnecessarily cruel. Putting aside the benefit of the discovery of one’s strengths and weaknesses, connection with others allows us to feel a sense of belonging. It can be extremely isolating if we do not have the opportunity to share ideas and experiences with other people. When I work as a psychotherapist for the Male Labelled, many of my clients admit that, because of their Male Label, they feel that they are not ‘permitted’ to speak of some of the fears they share with me. Once they finally admit to this, they quickly realise that the fears were unfounded. And finally, they don't feel so alone. Get high on connection Still not convinced about the benefits of connection? How about a bit of science to convince you: Dopamine is the feel-good chemical in the brain, and more is produced when we are introduced to new experiences. This new experience can be a deeper connection with people you already know or even a surface connection with a new person. In whatever form, we should be getting more of it (The Rewarding Nature of Social Interactions, Krach et al). Drugged up, lonely rats Here is some more science: Far far away, in a university in Vancouver (Simon Fraser University, to be precise), Professor Alexander built a cage for some rats to play in. He installed balls and tunnels and food, and he offered them two water bottles; one with water and the other laced with drugs. The rats often chose the plain water, and it was only when they were placed in isolation did Alexander notice that the rats started to choose the drugged water. And when the rats were returned to the cage where they could play and eat with each other, their interest in the drug disappeared. Some have argued that connection is so powerful that it can act as an antidote to addiction. How can we get this thing called ‘connection’? Nobody has a continuous, consistent level of connection with someone else. The quality of the connection can be easily influenced by how open the other person is to connecting with you. So don’t blame yourself if it doesn’t flow as easily as you hoped. You may also find it hard to connect with others if you are enduring stress. If you are distracted by the prospect of losing your job or dealing with a two-year-old child who is screaming blue murder, be kind to yourself and don’t hope for too much all at once. Our styles of connection have a lot to do with how we were raised. For example, if our caregivers (usually our parents) were emotionally distant, we might think that being emotionally distant is a desirable way of being in our adult relationships. Always do what you’ve always done, always get what you’ve always got But we can unlearn as much as we learn. How is that aloof, distant manner working out for you so far?; feeling a little lonely on that island? Why not try a different approach. Everything new feels a bit awkward at first, but with practice, it might feel a bit easier. And besides, if we always do what we have always done, we will always get what we have always got (Henry Ford). Never too late If we have never experienced a healthy connection with someone else, it is not too late to learn how. A decent therapist can show you what it is like to make a connection with someone. To journey on without connection is to deprive yourself of the chance to confirm the edges of your personality. It is only when you see the reflection of your multi-coloured self in the eyes of another, that you can gain perspective of all of your strengths and weaknesses. A full palette of colour Beyond the Blue of your Male Label. So what do you think? Does any of this resonate with you? Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Pronouns: (they/them/theirs) Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/ #beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook Survival Guide for the Male Labelled6/27/2019  If you are given a Male Label at birth, you are at a greater risk of certain types of harm. For example, you are at greater risk of substance abuse, incarceration, suicide, violence, rough sleeping, and exclusion from school.
You are at a greater risk of harm if your Male Label intersects with other parts of your person's identity. For example, you may experience additional stress because of discrimination; for example, if you are
So you need to know how to help yourself, and how to seek help when all else fails. I have put together a Survival Guide for the Male Labelled. This includes the following essential tools -
Please get in touch via the Contact Page if you would like to change anything about the Survival Guide. And if you need any more information that is not already covered by the Guide. Together we can reduce the harm associated with the Male Label, and work towards a healthier, happier society. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate #beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook  At birth, we slap the Male Label on a person (otherwise known as the Male Labelled). When it comes to Depression, labelling is far from a neutral act. As if the Label were slapped over that person’s mouth, they are expected to remain silent, even when their emotional distress is pushing them closer to the cliff’s edge. And then there are some (including members of the helping profession) who pathologise the Male Labelled. They claim that if you are given the Male Label at birth, it somehow infects you with a defect, so you are unable to feel, or unable to become Depressed. There is no evidence to support this view. To add further insult to injury, if the Male Labelled manage to seek help, they are sometimes dismissed as ‘aggressive’ or ‘angry’. Their Depression is never identified, and so the treatment remains unavailable to them. Is it any wonder that the Male Labelled are three times more likely to die by suicide? Let’s end this nonsense and accept that the Male Labelled need as much help with Depression as anyone else. Here are a few pointers to help with staying away from the cliff’s edge. How to spot Depression It has taken the form of a black dog (Winston Churchill), a slug (Margaret Atwood, the author of The Handmaid’s Tale, referred to Depression as a ‘sluggish wave’) or an elephant (that was me, referring to it as the elephant in the room that no one wants to address). No matter what form it takes, there are a handful of symptoms that could identify the changeling that is Depression. It is a persistent state of being, not a one-off bad day. When it takes hold it can leave you numb or flattened, persistently negative, irritable, and it often leaves you with a sense of hopelessness –
You are more likely to be diagnosed with Depression if you have been experiencing the above-mentioned symptoms for
You, and the people you know and love, will recognise it the most The above-mentioned symptoms need to be considered by taking into account a person’s usual temperament or personality. If someone is normally shy and socially withdrawn, this may be less of a symptom of Depression than someone who is usually outgoing, and all of a sudden socially withdrawn. What to do about Depression Get help. It sounds obvious, but maybe you need to hear it. The Male Label is often associated with independence, and to seek help can sometimes suggest vulnerability. It is okay to seek help. In fact, it is a clever thing to do. What you are doing is creating a team to support you for just part of the journey that is your life. Think of it as a delegation of your mental or emotional wellbeing to a member of your team. They can take responsibility for your wellbeing, at least for a little. Where to find help for Depression     So what do you think? Does any of this resonate with you? I would love to hear from you, so we can help survive the Male Label. Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Pronouns: (they/them/theirs) Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/ #beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook  For years I have worked as a psychotherapist, and I have found that the Male Label is associated with a greater risk of harm. There are higher rates of suicide, substance abuse, violence, exclusion from school, incarceration and rough sleeping amongst people who have been labelled at birth as Male ("the Male Labelled") Despite this increased risk of harm, the Male Labelled are less likely to get the help they need If we are to address this, we need to go Beyond the Blue of the Male Label. The Male Labelled are not simply the binary opposite of the Female Labelled. We need to understand people beyond the convenient labels society attaches to them, so we need to under how the Male Label intersects with - 1. A person's true gender identity 2. A person's sexuality, and 3. A person's ethnicity I have created the following survival kits to take us Beyond the Blue of the Male Label - 1. A Survival Guide for the Male Labelled 2. A Survival Guide for family and friends of the Male Labelled 3. A Survival Guide for professionals working with the Male Labelled  The Survival Guides include -
1. Tips to help the Male Labelled develop and maintain emotional wellbeing 2. Discussions around gender identity 3. Articles about the intersection of the Male Label and other aspects of a person's identity, including a. Their true gender identity b. Their sexuality c. Their ethnicity If you have ideas about any of these Survival Guides, please do join the debate. The more voices we add to this, the further we can go Beyond the Blue of the Male Label. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate #beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook Chris
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