Chris Warren-Dickins - Author and Therapist

Beyond the blog

Surviving the Blue - Part 1

8/6/2019

 
Picture
During life’s journey, we often see an expanse of Blue. 

  • For some of us, Blue represents the ocean of sky that stretches on for miles. 
  • For others, Blue represents their Male Gender Identity, a binary opposite to the Pink of a Female Label.  
 
Blue meant something far different to the person I met when I was working at a homeless shelter one Christmas.  Blue was this person’s name, and for them, Blue also represented a colour of Melancholy and Depression. 

Blue had been homeless on and off for several years, and perhaps this ground them down.  Perhaps this darkened the colour so that the Blue of their Depression weighed too heavily on them because by the following Christmas, Blue had died by suicide.
 
Society has a problem with someone like Blue, who represents an Inconvenient Truth.  Blue had been given the Male Label at birth, and so society would like to say:

'Take the Blue Male Label, as this will give you strength, stoicism and independence, and this will leave no room for the Blue of Depression.
Only those with the Pink of the Female Label can suffer from Depression because only they can experience vulnerability, emotion, and relationship.' 


And yet Blue still suffered from Depression, and Blue still died by suicide.  So Blue represents an Inconvenient Truth lingering over Two Fallacies that still prevail in society:
  1. Fallacy Number One:  That a person’s true Gender Identity is a product of one of two binary opposites: The Female or Male Label.  In my article Surviving Gender Identity Myths I discuss how this has been proven to be false; there are multiple Gender Identities Beyond the Binary of Pink or Blue
  2. Fallacy Number Two:  That someone who has been labelled as Male from birth is somehow less able to emote or relate.  In my article Surviving the Dark Void of Depression Part 1 I discuss how this has been proven to be false.  The Male Labelled are just as capable of emoting and relating.  As a result, they are just as prone to Depression.
 
To help you get past the Two Fallacies about the Male Labelled and Depression, know these three things –
  1. The Male Labelled are more than three times more likely to die by suicide
  2. The Male Labelled are conditioned to ignore their emotions, and instead of seeking help, they often turn to other means (suicide, violence, substance use), so their Depression remains undiscovered
  3. Because of this conditioning, the helping profession can be prone to gender bias.  Even if people who are Male Labelled do seek help, the helping profession can sometimes miss the Depression. Instead, they label their behaviour ‘aggression’ or ‘anger’ instead of Depression
 
In Part 2 of this article, I will share some of the wisdom I learned from Blue.  This is important stuff that Blue taught me, and even if it did not help Blue to survive, I hope that others will use it to go Beyond the Blue of their own Depression. 

For now, I want to communicate this message: 

​We need to let our imagination go Beyond the Blue of the Male Label.  If we can imagine that human nature is more complex and more unique than the Labels we use, we will open our minds to the possibility that the Male Labelled can and do suffer from Depression. 

Once we see that this is possible, we will identify the warning signs that are being communicated to us.  And perhaps more people will get that essential help before it is too late, before they are lost Beyond the Blue.
 
So what do you think?
Does any of this resonate with you?  Get in touch by sending me a message privately via the Contact Page, or add a public comment below, and engage in the debate
 
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC 
Pronouns: (they/them/theirs)
Therapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate
https://www.chriswarrendickins.com/
#beyondtheblue #beyondthebluebook

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    Chris 
    ​Warren-Dickins

    Psychotherapist and author of Beyond Powerlessness, Beyond Burnout, Beyond Loneliness, The Beast of Gloom, Beyond Your Confines: The Workbook, Beyond Your Confines, and Beyond the Blue 

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