Strategies to help with your child's mental health

 No one wants to think that their child might become depressed, but it is better to have the tools ready, just in case, than be caught unaware. Here are three of my favorite -
 
ONE – KNOWING THEY ARE NOT ALONE
 
Research shows that if someone has at least one supportive person in their life, the impact of depression is considerably reduced.

Your support, reminding them that they are not alone, is crucial for your child.
And when you offer that support, your choice of words is important. You want to acknowledge your child’s pain, showing them you are meeting them where they are, without any attempt to reduce its significance or dismiss their feelings.

Handy phrases include:
“I hear you, and I am here when you are ready for me.”
“That sounds big and overwhelming, and we can look at it together when you want to.”
“I see how hard this is for you. What do you need from me right now?”
 
TWO – MINDFULNESS
 
There is plenty of research to show that mindfulness can help with a wide range of mental health conditions. But sometimes mindfulness can appear complicated, or just for the adults. You’re your child learn about mindfulness by following the simple steps set out below:
 
In his book Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat Zinn describes mindfulness as the practice of "non-doing" and "letting go." When you adopt a mindful approach, your job is to simply become aware of what is going on, without trying to change it, interpret it, or consider how it affects you…
 
Step 1 – Notice one thing at a time. It could be the dripping tap or the swaying breeze, or even just the tempo of each breath.
Step 2 – Really notice your internal and external states, including the colors and textures, and how that makes you feel.
Step 3 – Any time you feel hijacked by an intense feeling or thought, redirect your attention to your breathing.
Step 4 – Adopt mindfulness even in the most basic of activities, including doing your homework, tidying your room, playing with your friends, or going for a walk.
 
THREE – THERE ARE BETTER DAYS
 
Depression can feel overwhelming, especially when you feel that it is never going to end. So your job is to keep reminding your child that there will be better days.

Reminding your child about the temporary nature of depression is crucial.
I sometimes like the analogy of surfing a wave, and this can be helpful for depression or anxiety:

• First, there is a build-up, when things start to get intense.
• Then there is a peak, when things are at the most intense. Imagine you are at the top of the wave.
• Finally, the intensity starts to subside, as you would slide down the other side of a wave. And things start to improve. You remember the things you once enjoyed, and you get pleasure out of those things again.

 
I hope you found this useful. I would love to hear your thoughts, whether that is via private message or comments below.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist & Author of The Beast of Gloom (a children’s book about depression)
 
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